Heero's answering machine
by watagashi
Summary: Another reason why Heero shouldn't take vacations


Heero: (pip pip) Hello, you have reached Heero at 410-666-1138. I'm not in right now.well, I am in right now, saying this, but not here right now, with you hearing this, which doesn't make a lot of sense the way I said it, because there both in present tense, and for me to be grammatically correct it would have to be.anyway, I'm on vacation, or I will be by the time you hear this, so leave a message and I'll call back, maybe. (pip pip)  
  
Duo: (pip pip) Hey, Heero, this is Duo! Nice answering machine. I just called cause I got bored, so you don't have to call me back if you don't want to. You probably don't want to. But if you do, you know my number. Okay, that didn't sound right. I'm just gonna hang up now. (pip pip)  
  
Relena: (pip pip) Hey, Heero, it's Relena. I was just calling to find out when would be a good time for us to go out, but now I see that you're on vacation and you didn't even tell me. Are you trying to tell me something? I mean, the last time I called you, you changed all the phone numbers. Then when I got a copy of your key from your landlord, you changed all the locks. Then when I said hi to you in the store, you ran away. I mean, are you trying to tell me you don't like me anymore? Call me. (pip pip)  
  
Trowa: (pip pip) Uh.I forget why I called. (pip pip)  
  
Quatre: (pip pip) Um.Hi. This is Quatre. I just called to ask if you would be a guest speaker for the class my sister teaches. But I guess not, since you're on vacation and I forget which sister asked me anyway. Hope you had a good vacation, bye. (pip pip)  
  
Trowa: (pip pip) I remember why I called! Wait, no I don't. (pip pip)  
  
Sarah: (pip pip) Hi, Heero. This is Sarah. I just called to wish you a happy birthday. I don't know when your real birthday is, so I'm just gonna say happy birthday now, so you can save it for later. Praise Raoul, bye. (pip pip)  
  
Duo: (pip pip) Hey, Heero, it's Duo again. I found some hair ribbons at my house, and nobody seems to know who they belong to. Are they yours? (pip pip)  
  
Wufei: (pip pip) Hello, Heero. This is Wufei. I was gonna ask if you.oh, here it is! Nevermind, I found it. (pip pip)  
  
Trowa: (pip pip) Hey, I think I remember what I was gonna say! Oh, yeah! Did you see.uh.what was it? I don't remember. (pip pip)  
  
Relena: ( pip pip) HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOO! Call me. (pip pip)  
  
Sarah: (pip pip) Hey, Heero, it's Sarah. Will you go out with me? If the answer is no, don't call back. (pip pip)  
  
Heero: (pip pip) Why did I call my own house? I know I'm not there.maybe that's why. (pip pip)  
  
Duo: (pip pip) Hey, Heero, it's Duo. I found some fuzzy pink earmuffs at my house, and nobody claims them. I'm assuming that they're yours. I'll just put them next to the hair ribbons. (pip pip)  
  
Quatre: (pip pip) Hi, Heero, it's Quatre. Wufei told me that I was a worthless weakling Arabian from a long line of worthless weakling Arabians. That means that he's insulting my father. If the Wing zero has blood stains on the foot, let me know and I'll wash them off for you. Bye. (pip pip)  
  
Wufei: (pip pip) Heero...don't kill me, but I blew up Wing Zero. Quatre was trying to kill me with it. Don't know why. By the way, I am not hiding out in Guatemala, so don't bother to look. (Pip pip)  
  
Heero: (pip pip) I have got to stop calling my own house. (pip pip)  
  
Sarah: (pip pip) Heero, I love you. I want you to marry me. Now go die. (pip pip)  
  
Trowa: (pipi pip) Oh, yeah. Heero. I was gonna call Quatre. I dialed a wrong number. But while I'm talking, I might as well tell you that you are a little (BEEEEEEEEEEEEP). See you later. (pip pip)  
  
Duo: (pip pip) Okay, Heero. You can come by my house any time to pick up your hair ribbons, fuzzy pink ear muffs, Barbie interactive CD rom, lingerie, plastic hobo, inflatable Taco Bell dog, and foot spa. I'm sick of girls always being scared of my storage closet. (pip pip)  
  
Trowa: (pip pip) Why did I call again? (pip pip)  
  
Epilogue: Heero came home and was instantly traumatized upon clearing his messages. He picked up his things from Duo's house and is now waiting for Quatre to come out of his coma so that he and his wife Sarah can complete Wing Zero 2 and hunt down Wufei, who is currently hiding in Guatemala. Trowa never did remember what he was going to say. 


End file.
